Who thought of that.

Second Vipassana Experience

10.05.2023 - 21.05.2023

Bali Dhamma Geha

Please check my article on my first Vipassana Experience.

Who conceived such marvels? Who thought of that. Who fashioned our intricate bodies, blending them with the elixir of emotions? We are not mere robots, but humans—divinely inspired beings. Who conceived such marvels? Who created an infinite multitude of worlds, both within and without, spanning from the infinitely minuscule to the boundlessly grand, and infused themselves within it all? Who conceived such marvels? Who brought forth all the elements in a mere instant? The invisible made visible, perfection personified, immensity incarnate.

G.O.D! A Genius. Of. Infinity. Empty. Full. A dot. Eternity. A Sound. Silence. Nothing. Everything. Nowhere. Everywhere. Creator. Destroyer. The one. The only. You manifested this world in the blink of an eye, not in seven days but in an instant.

I humbly bow to you, in reverence and awe, here and in all of our creations. I am you, and you are me. We are all manifestations of the same divine essence. Reality is singular and nondual.

Father in heaven, with tears streaming down my face, I express profound gratitude, for you made yourself small so that I could bear your immense love. Who conceived such marvels? You are so present within me that you appear hidden. You never arrive uninvited; you always present us with a choice. How incredibly brilliant this is. The choice is ours, whether to open the door and embrace the opportunity to trust. Those who open the door discover an infinite wellspring of wisdom and embark on a magnificent journey of growth, ultimately leading to the sacred union with the divine.

The above words were inscribed on the cardboard tube of a roll of toilet paper during a blissful moment while undertaking my second Vipassana meditation. Overwhelmed by powerful energy surging through my legs and spine, I found myself moved to write. Those who have experienced Vipassana know that writing and reading are prohibited during the practice, and there are no pens or papers available. However, I managed to find a way by using a piece of cardboard from the toilet paper roll and a pen I unexpectedly had in my bag. My second Vipassana experience was filled with moments of pure bliss.

Let us now delve into the mantra that encapsulates the eight qualities of GOD:

Gobinday = Sustaining

Mukanday = Liberating

Udharay = Enlightening

Aparay = Infinite

Hariang = Destroying

Kariang = Creating

Nirnamay = Nameless

Akamay = Desiring

The Vipassana Experience and the Bali Center

On the first day, my mind raced from one thought to another, with a thousand thoughts flickering in the blink of an eye. It seemed as if my mind needed to review everything I had left behind at home before relinquishing control. Additionally, I found it physically challenging to maintain the meditation position. I had to change positions multiple times during the first two days. Ultimately, I decided to request a back support because I sensed a transformative process occurring in my kidneys, accompanied by an uncomfortable sensation that was too intense to simply observe. From the third day onward, as my mind let go of external concerns and my body settled into comfort, I began to receive internal insights—wisdom, love, forgiveness, a feeling of levitation, and the flow of electrical sensations up my legs. What a profound experience, all through the power of focusing the mind on the present moment. As my partner always says, "All we have is now, and now is beautiful."

During this Vipassana retreat, I was surrounded by approximately 40 women in a compound in Bali. The facilities were modest, but what I appreciated most was that each of us had our own individual cell (though I hesitate to call it a room). This contrasted with my previous experience three years ago in Barcelona, where all the women slept in bunk beds within the same hall.

The Bali Center was nestled in the jungle atop a small mountain. While one might expect tranquility, it happened to be situated between a pig farm and a chicken farm. During the introductory session, we were informed that the animals on these farms were not destined for slaughter. However, as we immersed ourselves in meditation, we could hear the cacophony of the pigs' wild noises and the continuous clucking of the chickens laying eggs. In due time, even these sounds became accepted as part of the experience. Another aspect I found intriguing was the abundant presence of animals, insects, ants, and lizards. Oh, the ants! Colonies of ants were ubiquitous. The place teemed with life. Spiderwebs adorned the surroundings, and spiders with black and white markings, as large as my hand, roamed freely. Since speech was prohibited and meditation was a continuous practice, I found myself observing nature and the animal kingdom in slow motion. I would leisurely watch an ant as it went about its work, taking my time to truly observe it. It was an amusing spectacle, indeed.

During my meditation journey, I encountered a multitude of experiences. At times, I delved into profound depths where I received messages from the souls of living individuals, which I felt compelled to deliver. These messages seemed to transcend ordinary communication, almost like a telepathic connection. My heart resonated with undeniable truth, sending shivers throughout my entire being and causing the hairs on my skin to stand on end. I experienced moments of silent tears, careful not to disturb my fellow practitioners. Interestingly, this time, being in an all-women setting seemed to evoke heightened emotions within me. Despite initial resistance to certain energies, I ended up developing love and appreciation for every woman present. For those unfamiliar with Vipassana, it encompasses various aspects: self-discipline, mindfulness of the present moment, mental focus, and profound inner work. Each day begins at 4 am with the resonating sound of a Gong, which becomes an integral part of the entire retreat. The Gong signals the awakening, the commencement of meditation, meal times, and even bedtime. Some might compare this structured rhythm to an army-like regimen, but I wholeheartedly embraced it as a voluntary enlistment, a transformative journey to expand my consciousness and release attachments and reactive tendencies. The entire organisation operates solely on donations, providing everything one needs: food, accommodation, meditation halls, and teachings. Remarkably, all the staff members are volunteers who were once students themselves, inspired to serve others. I felt a profound calling to join their ranks as a volunteer during my next Vipassana experience. The Vipassana organization was founded by the remarkable Goenka, a man of Burmese origin who spent a significant part of his life in India. The teachings are rooted in the wisdom of Buddha, and the chants are performed in the ancient Pali language, which was spoken during Buddha's time. The teachings revolve around maintaining equanimity in the face of duality, neither attaching to positive and pleasurable sensations nor resisting negative and repulsive ones. The key is to remain neutral, cultivating a non-reactive, non-dualistic state of mind. By achieving this state, we attain stability and balance. When we artificially elevate ourselves through external means like drugs or alcohol, we inevitably experience a subsequent decline to restore equilibrium. Such is the nature of duality—the energy always seeks equilibrium. The technique initially focuses on observing the breath for the first three days, after which we shift to observing sensations throughout the body. In the beginning, we notice primarily gross sensations such as pain, discomfort, and itching. However, as our minds grow more concentrated, we begin to observe subtler sensations. Our subconscious mind is acutely aware of these sensations, and by removing the filters of attachment and aversion, we can cease creating misery for ourselves. The process of purifying the subconscious mind involves cleansing the mental impressions and recollections, known as samskaras in Hindu philosophies and Saṅkhāras in Buddhism. These are the basis for understanding karma theory and the formations within our consciousness. Vipassana meditation brings us deep into our bodies, where we need to be—fully present, feeling all sensations, with a clear mind and an open heart, ready to create from a space of detachment and gratitude. Everything in life is transient and cyclical, constantly changing. Anicca, a Pali word meaning "unstable," "impermanent," and "inconstant," beautifully captures this concept.

Day 0 of the Vipassana Experience

On May 10th, 2023, I arrived at the centre at 4 pm. Following dinner, we had an evening meeting where the main rules of Vipassana were explained. After the meeting, we entered noble silence, refraining from speaking throughout the entirety of the retreat. The meals provided during both Vipassana retreats I attended were fantastic—simple vegetarian options lovingly prepared by volunteers. This time, I decided to partake in only one meal a day, lunch, to deepen my experience and detoxify my body. It proved to be an effective choice.

Day 1 of the Vipassana Experience

Waking up at 4 am proved challenging. The energy felt heavy, and my mind was filled with numerous thoughts, incessantly jumping from one place to another. The instructions for today were to focus on the breath for returning students. However, I struggled to sustain my focus for more than a minute as thoughts continued to dominate my awareness. Each passing minute felt like an hour. With 11 hours of meditation each day, the experience was truly demanding. In the evening, we listened to recorded lectures by the teacher Goenka, an hour-long discourse at the end of each day. I found these lectures highly beneficial and opted to listen to them in Bulgarian this time, my native language, as opposed to English, which was the original language of the recordings.

Day 2 to Day 4 of the Vipassana Experience

During this period, physical discomfort persisted, accompanied by vivid visuals, some of which proved rather unsettling. According to the teacher's advice, we were instructed not to dwell on these visuals, and if they became too disturbing, we could briefly open our eyes. In the midst of it all, forgiveness, tears, love, and bliss unfolded.

Day 5 of the Vipassana Experience

Surrendering to the Practice As the retreat progressed, the initial restlessness began to dissipate, gradually replaced by a sense of surrender. The daily routine, centered around noble silence and rigorous meditation sessions, fostered a serene atmosphere. With every breath, I dived deeper into the subtleties of my own consciousness, observing the sensations that arose within my body. The relentless inner chatter diminished, allowing a space for tranquility and self-reflection.

Day 6 of the Vipassana Experience

Exploring Inner Resistance On this day, I confronted resistance lurking within. As I ventured into the realms of my mind, patterns of aversion and attachment surfaced. With a gentle but firm determination, I learned to face these mental constructs head-on, embracing them with equanimity. The practice revealed the interconnectedness of my thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, ultimately guiding me towards a state of acceptance.

Day 7 of the Vipassana Experience

Cultivating Equanimity The seventh day marked a significant turning point in my journey. As the mind grew more refined, I cultivated equanimity—an unwavering balance amidst the fluctuations of experience. External distractions and internal turbulence no longer dictated my state of being. Instead, I observed with impartiality, recognizing the impermanence of all phenomena. This newfound perspective allowed me to tap into a wellspring of inner peace.

Day 8 of the Vipassana Experience

Insights and Liberation With sustained focus, the layers of my consciousness began to unravel, unveiling profound insights and moments of liberation. I recognized the transient nature of thoughts, emotions, and sensations, understanding that attachment and aversion only perpetuated suffering. By observing without judgment, I experienced a profound sense of freedom, unburdened by the chains of conditioned patterns.

Day 9 of the Vipassana Experience

Deepening Connection As the retreat neared its completion, a sense of interconnectedness emerged within the silent community. Although devoid of verbal communication, a shared energy permeated the atmosphere. Compassion flowed effortlessly, as if each individual recognized the inner struggles and aspirations of others. The bonds forged in silence transcended language and fostered a profound sense of unity.

Day 10 of the Vipassana Experience

Integration and Reflection On the final day, the veil of silence lifted, marking the culmination of an extraordinary journey. The integration of my newfound awareness into everyday life awaited. As I bid farewell to the retreat, gratitude swelled within me. The transformative power of Vipassana meditation had illuminated the path towards realisation, offering tools to navigate the complexities of existence with clarity and compassion.

The 10-day Vipassana meditation retreat proved to be a profound and life-altering experience. From Day 5 to Day 10, I traversed the realms of my inner landscape, shedding layers of conditioned patterns and discovering the timeless essence that lies within. Through silence, self-reflection, and dedicated practice, I unlocked the door to inner stillness and awakened to the boundless potential of my own consciousness. The lessons learned and insights gained during this retreat continue to reverberate in my daily life, guiding me towards a more harmonious and mindful existence.